“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
― Bob Marley
Monday, October 31, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Liezl and her Gander
Young Liezl, always the curious little one. Nothing frightened her, and everything excited her.
Lost in her thoughts, forever wandering. The only one who understood her wasn’t like us.
Running off to the pond, hours spent with her feet dangling, toes tickling the water.
All the other kids found it fun at first, but grew tired of the Geese. “They are all so mean and stinky,” the kids would shout. “You like the Geese cuz you are stinky like them!” Liezl heard nothing.
She was fascinated, not with the Geese, but with one Goose, or rather a Gander.
She thought it smelt nice by the pond, fresh and clean. And if they didn’t like it, they didn’t have to come. She preferred to be there alone. Alone with her Goose, or rather her Gander.
She would have conversations with him, hours on end. Although he would only quack back, Liezl could understand him.
As Liezl aged, the Gander remained, not a day would pass, with out seeing her Gander.
Little Liezl soon became, less little, and less young. She found love. She found pain. All the while sharing her stories with her special friend.
As time passed, little geese and ganders were born, and old geese and ganders died, but not him, he stayed the same.
Stories were told, of how the crazy old woman, would just sit by the pond talking to geese. She never married, nor had children. She knew love, but not as we did.
One day a little boy and little girl came along. Playing by the water, so young and little. They loved the Geese, and most of all Liezl’s Gander.
The children noticed that Liezl fed the Geese breadcrumbs, and asked if they could feed them too. “Of course” she’d say, with her beautiful smile.
The kids would come back day after day, feeding the crumbs. But Liezl’s Gander would not eat the crumbs. He only ate candy.
“Why does that one only eat candy?” asked the children.
“He has ever since we were little. We used to come down to the pond as children and throw candy into the pond. The Geese hated it. They would always come to the shore when they saw us, expecting bread. We would bring bread often, but always tried to get them to eat candy. They never would.” Liezl answered with a curious smile, never taking her eyes off her Gander.
For a while the children would come down to the pond and listen to stories of Liezl and her friend when they were but children. Until one day Liezl wasn’t there. The children went to Liezl’s spot only to find the Gander sitting there alone. They tried to feed him candy, but something wasn’t right. He would not eat.
They came back the next, to find the Gander in Liezl’s spot, but Liezl wasn’t there. Everyday for a week they returned to the same scene. Until one Sunday, upon their return they found a dozen or so people around a stone and some fresh dirt in Liezl’s spot. There sat her Gander. No one spoke. The only noise was the cries he made. The people left, but he didn’t.
The children aged, and their visits became less frequent. Every time they came down to Liezl’s spot, there sat the Gander. No Geese remained in the pond, just Liezl and her Gander.
-Graham Balon
Monday, October 3, 2011
?
Do you know what it feels like to have that missing? Of course not, how could you. You have it. Its not that I can not posses it, but that I don’t currently have it. I am not broken, I am lost. I need space, and quite in order to truly find myself. If I am to love my self, I'm gonna have to know who he is first.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Sunday, oh glorious Sunday
I woke up with eggs Benny on mah mind. And guess what, sweet sweet Bonnie, the cook at the camp I'm in, just so happens to be whipping up some hollandaise sauce as I walk into the kitchen. For some reason I felt it a good idea to get up at 7am, that reason my friends twas the hope of Bennys. You see I felt so bold as to make the request this morning for some, but Bonnie already new what this day needed.
So I'm sitting down to my Bennys and a nice glass o milk. 1% of course. Minding my own Benny, and some rig fella strolls into the kitchen. I had noticed him sleepin on the couch in the common room as I so boldly braved the early hours, and thought to myself, who is this riff raff? Turns out hes a truck driver. Got his truck stuck at 3am this morning he did. Hadn't planned on staying the night, but had no other choice. He made the kilometer trek down the soaking mud hill back to our camp, and rather than disrupt anyone to inquire about a room, he crashed on the couch. So I'm minding my Benny and hes jammin on about how he got stuck, and I'm all like, "Fool, get in on these Bennys!" and not really listening to what hes saying. Hes timidly asking all these roughnecks if he can catch a ride, no one responds. Some because they are knee deep in hollandaise, some because they are jerks, or both. He then realizes we are all Benny Jerks, and poses the question, "Ill be safe walking back up right? Not like there are bears out here." False. Plenty o bears round here. Griz and black alike. Seen em wit my own eyes I did. And if there is anything that can pull a man out of some sweet Benny love, tis the thought of a bear enjoying a man as much as a man enjoys some Bennys.
I finish the first of my three Bennys and say, "Pardner, you best be hopin in my ride, ain't gonna see no stinking bear enjoy some Man-Benny on my watch" I kiss my two remaining Bennys goodbye, and escort the fella to his truck.
Its mighty slippery outside, a lesser man would likely have gotten stuck and eaten alive. Good thing that ain't me. I drop the guy off. He is kind folk, something you don't come by too often in the Patch. He was worried about dirtying my truck. I was worried about not eating my Bennys.
I head back to camp, get inside and see Bonnie puttin whats left of the warm hollandaise sauce on my lonely Bennys, bless her soul. "Your steak got cold last night while you were helping the roughneck with his smashed hand, and there was nothing I could do about it. If a man tells me he wants his steak medium rare, I ain't throwin it back on the fire. But I'll be damned if I'll let some Bennys go cold on my watch." Bonnie smiles. Bless her soul she's a fine cook, and finer woman. Oh boy, did I enjoy them Bennys, another glass o' 1% and back to bed I went.
I woke up with football on mah mind. You see when a man is away from home, his mind wonders, he needs to bring it back to the ranch for some rest and cleanin. Today is that day. I sent word back to my homestead with the predictions and wagers on this weeks games. Trusty Stevesy went and placed the order. Watching some pre game with some o' Bonnie's coffee, I hear tell that Stevesy done gone and mixed up our order. "Damnit Stevesy!" I curse, "are you on the Drug?!" Turns out, well you know Stevesy. Bless his little head, I can't stay mad at him, and who knows, maybe one man's folly is another man's gain.
Half time comes around and the only thing going mah way is the coffee. I want to curse that little fools name again, but my mind goes back to the kind trucker fella, and I know Stevesy woulda helped him out too, sure as rain.
What's this Stevesy accidental blunder turns a 21-3 point half time deficit, into a victory, sure does. Boy did I laugh, slapped my knee I did. More than once too. Turns out I made the blunder, damn Buffalo heard had a nice lead on some Bengal cats, but slowed up and got taken alive. And whose idea was it to pick the Buffalo? Yours truly.
I send word to Stevesy, laughing bout the lost cattle and coin, and I joke, "gosh, too bad I had to go and mess up them Buffalo, and you had to mess up the Saints I hired. Don't know how I'mma tell the little ones they'll be no Turducken this year."
Stevesy is quite, and then begins to laugh. Turns out he messed it up nice. No wager was placed on the Buffalo! We might hit gold yet!
Afternoon rolls around. Bonnie whips up some fine Chili for a fine Sunday. "Smells like touchdowns" I say as I walk back to the ol' tele tube. Things are lookin good. One half left to play and just need one more team to come back from 3 down. The unfortunate part is, that team is led by Ellie Manning, the town bicycle. Oh she's been round, sometimes she gets yah there, and sometimes, well best not talk about that in front of the little ones.
Things aint looking good. She's dropping more balls then, oh damn, there I go again.
4 minutes left. 10 points back. Need some help. See we are relying on this gold for our Friendsgiving Turducken feast. I'd be damned if we aint stuffin a turkey with a duck and some chicken covered in bacon this year. The little ones would be so sad. Ain't seeing that. I ain't a God fearin man, but that don't mean we ain't close.
I get on my knees, sweat dripping of my brow, and start gabbin with man upstairs. Its a pleasant chat. I ask if he's ever had Turducken, turns out he ain't, same as me. We finish out chat, and well what do you know Ellie has gotten the game to within 3. Two minutes left, and her older brothas step up. Seems them red shirts they playin against said something awful mean bout lil Ellie. They go and get the ball back for her, yes they did. And they weren't kind bout it neither. Sure nough Ellie gets the job done, with not a lick o' time to spare.
Turducken for all! The Sheppard above has brought the flock in to feed. And what a bountiful harvest she is.
In my joy I am reminded of the kind fella and the last thing he said to me as I dropped him off, "Thank you for your help stranger, hope them Bennys ain't to cold upon your safe return. Bless yah."
Sure hope Bonnie can make it to the feast, I reckon she'd love her self some sweet sweet Turducken.
G'night y'all.
So I'm sitting down to my Bennys and a nice glass o milk. 1% of course. Minding my own Benny, and some rig fella strolls into the kitchen. I had noticed him sleepin on the couch in the common room as I so boldly braved the early hours, and thought to myself, who is this riff raff? Turns out hes a truck driver. Got his truck stuck at 3am this morning he did. Hadn't planned on staying the night, but had no other choice. He made the kilometer trek down the soaking mud hill back to our camp, and rather than disrupt anyone to inquire about a room, he crashed on the couch. So I'm minding my Benny and hes jammin on about how he got stuck, and I'm all like, "Fool, get in on these Bennys!" and not really listening to what hes saying. Hes timidly asking all these roughnecks if he can catch a ride, no one responds. Some because they are knee deep in hollandaise, some because they are jerks, or both. He then realizes we are all Benny Jerks, and poses the question, "Ill be safe walking back up right? Not like there are bears out here." False. Plenty o bears round here. Griz and black alike. Seen em wit my own eyes I did. And if there is anything that can pull a man out of some sweet Benny love, tis the thought of a bear enjoying a man as much as a man enjoys some Bennys.
I finish the first of my three Bennys and say, "Pardner, you best be hopin in my ride, ain't gonna see no stinking bear enjoy some Man-Benny on my watch" I kiss my two remaining Bennys goodbye, and escort the fella to his truck.
Its mighty slippery outside, a lesser man would likely have gotten stuck and eaten alive. Good thing that ain't me. I drop the guy off. He is kind folk, something you don't come by too often in the Patch. He was worried about dirtying my truck. I was worried about not eating my Bennys.
I head back to camp, get inside and see Bonnie puttin whats left of the warm hollandaise sauce on my lonely Bennys, bless her soul. "Your steak got cold last night while you were helping the roughneck with his smashed hand, and there was nothing I could do about it. If a man tells me he wants his steak medium rare, I ain't throwin it back on the fire. But I'll be damned if I'll let some Bennys go cold on my watch." Bonnie smiles. Bless her soul she's a fine cook, and finer woman. Oh boy, did I enjoy them Bennys, another glass o' 1% and back to bed I went.
I woke up with football on mah mind. You see when a man is away from home, his mind wonders, he needs to bring it back to the ranch for some rest and cleanin. Today is that day. I sent word back to my homestead with the predictions and wagers on this weeks games. Trusty Stevesy went and placed the order. Watching some pre game with some o' Bonnie's coffee, I hear tell that Stevesy done gone and mixed up our order. "Damnit Stevesy!" I curse, "are you on the Drug?!" Turns out, well you know Stevesy. Bless his little head, I can't stay mad at him, and who knows, maybe one man's folly is another man's gain.
Half time comes around and the only thing going mah way is the coffee. I want to curse that little fools name again, but my mind goes back to the kind trucker fella, and I know Stevesy woulda helped him out too, sure as rain.
What's this Stevesy accidental blunder turns a 21-3 point half time deficit, into a victory, sure does. Boy did I laugh, slapped my knee I did. More than once too. Turns out I made the blunder, damn Buffalo heard had a nice lead on some Bengal cats, but slowed up and got taken alive. And whose idea was it to pick the Buffalo? Yours truly.
I send word to Stevesy, laughing bout the lost cattle and coin, and I joke, "gosh, too bad I had to go and mess up them Buffalo, and you had to mess up the Saints I hired. Don't know how I'mma tell the little ones they'll be no Turducken this year."
Stevesy is quite, and then begins to laugh. Turns out he messed it up nice. No wager was placed on the Buffalo! We might hit gold yet!
Afternoon rolls around. Bonnie whips up some fine Chili for a fine Sunday. "Smells like touchdowns" I say as I walk back to the ol' tele tube. Things are lookin good. One half left to play and just need one more team to come back from 3 down. The unfortunate part is, that team is led by Ellie Manning, the town bicycle. Oh she's been round, sometimes she gets yah there, and sometimes, well best not talk about that in front of the little ones.
Things aint looking good. She's dropping more balls then, oh damn, there I go again.
4 minutes left. 10 points back. Need some help. See we are relying on this gold for our Friendsgiving Turducken feast. I'd be damned if we aint stuffin a turkey with a duck and some chicken covered in bacon this year. The little ones would be so sad. Ain't seeing that. I ain't a God fearin man, but that don't mean we ain't close.
I get on my knees, sweat dripping of my brow, and start gabbin with man upstairs. Its a pleasant chat. I ask if he's ever had Turducken, turns out he ain't, same as me. We finish out chat, and well what do you know Ellie has gotten the game to within 3. Two minutes left, and her older brothas step up. Seems them red shirts they playin against said something awful mean bout lil Ellie. They go and get the ball back for her, yes they did. And they weren't kind bout it neither. Sure nough Ellie gets the job done, with not a lick o' time to spare.
Turducken for all! The Sheppard above has brought the flock in to feed. And what a bountiful harvest she is.
In my joy I am reminded of the kind fella and the last thing he said to me as I dropped him off, "Thank you for your help stranger, hope them Bennys ain't to cold upon your safe return. Bless yah."
Sure hope Bonnie can make it to the feast, I reckon she'd love her self some sweet sweet Turducken.
G'night y'all.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
The start of something...
The embodiment of consciousness, contrary to the obvious,
A task not for the dreary, for the soft heart in us.
Take away your stories, take away what you can,
Run, run fast, as to not be captured, by the demons, the demons at hand,
Releasing us from our shackles, before its lost on us.
-Graham Balon
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